Just now, I was having a dream (as one does), and in that dream, it started out that I was talking to a friend. I wanted to follow up with her on a meeting she had had, and basically she told me that during this meeting, she learned that all marriage is difficult and full of struggle… something like that. I don’t remember the exact words. It was a shorter statement that basically painted marriage in a light of inevitably being bad and to just accept it.
In my dream, I knew that it wasn’t inevitable (whoever had advised her during her meeting had a negative, fatalistic-type perspective) and that Jesus could prevent what she described and help someone to have a good marriage. But as I was trying to tell her this, I felt suddenly a huge weight on me that made it difficult to tell her. I knew this was demonic in nature, so I pushed through it and cast it away from me and I think I told her? More on that.
In the same dream, this other demon (or the same one maybe…. not sure. Does it matter?) basically was being introduced to me by this other guy, like this demon was supposed to become my friend, but the whole situation struck me as unhealthy, because it was trying to force me to befriend it and I wanted free agency. It acted healthy, but it was not. It might have been the demon that was causing the weight. Anyway, I had to tell that to go away in my dream but also in real time. When I woke up, I could tell in my spirit that it was there and trying to approach me/attack me/be there where it’s not welcome, so I had to tell it to leave a couple times, and I prayed for protection (where I think God will send angels to defend us, help us out).
As this is happening, I’m processing it. I thought at first it was something for my friend to hear, but since the demonic influence was impacting my own self in real time, I realized I maybe should tell her just in case, but at the very least, this thing was active in my life. And I realized I HAD that perspective on marriage, and especially recently had been distancing myself from wanting marriage because I felt, due to recent actions on my part, that I would just be unhealthy and difficult to live with (accidentally typed “difficult to love” at first, and that works too…), that having a bad marriage was a given.
I needed to address this.
When it comes to demons, it’s one thing to tell them to go away, but a good solution in combination with that is to counter the lie with truth, as I was trying to with my friend in the dream. The truth is, having a bad marriage is not an inevitability. Jesus will be with me and my husband as well (should he show up at some point), and He can guide us into how to live out marriage. Jesus can help us as we trust Him. I know this inside, but I found it necessary to really spell it out so that I believe it and that the enemy knows that I’m standing on it.
By the way, Jesus demonstrated that we should confront the enemy this way by how he confronted Satan when he was being tempted in the wilderness. It’s also the basic premise behind Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is one of the most helpful theories in counseling today- confronting unhelpful or untrue thoughts with true ones, which ultimately sets you free in whatever area you’re struggling (the truth sets us free? Where have I heard that now?… oh yeah, Scripture).
Yeah, man. The enemy is the one who attacks us individually and also especially likes coming after our relationships, be it marriage, friendships, work, etc. Especially marriage though, he seems to hate marriage especially. Maybe because he knows how strong we are when we’re together? That oneness can be hugely effective in the kingdom.
Jesus is the one who gives life to the same relationships as we trust Him and do as He tells us in His Word, in all humility and love for Him and for people whom He loves.
Also, I realized it is absolutely essential that I get this if I end up going into marriage and family therapy (as I may), because I don’t want to be that negative ninny advising people as my friend was being advised.
When a husband and wife walk with the Lord and walk with each other, the fact is that it can be beautiful, truly.
And even if your marriage started out rough, there is hope. Just repent to the Lord and love your spouse. It’s amazing how far humility and honesty can go if you’re arguing with someone. Sometimes you end up better for it, really. Depends. The honesty that comes from it can be super helpful to bringing you closer together, as long as it’s approached with grace. Anyway.
Felt like I should write it down. So here.
g’night.
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